Beginnings
by illuminatingthesoul
Summary: A revealing conversation with his girlfriend tells Dov all he needs to know. Oneshot, mature themes.


Recap time! In this line of fics, Andy and Sam are engaged. Gail is pregnant and glowing and she and Chris are engaged. Dov has a new girlfriend, but she might be more trouble than it's worth. Kidding, he totally loves her. Oh, and I know I haven't written for Traci and Jerry yet, but that will come soon. For them, it's smooth sailing right now. Peace to you, Dex.

I'm gonna do another oneshot after this, explaining what happened nearly two months prior. Then, I've taken some of your suggestions into account and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Thanks for all reviews!

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_Her words were quiet, but she only got through the first sentence before Dov's ears started ringing. _

_ "I'll kill him." He seethed. "I swear to God, I'll kill him."_

"Dov, can I please get through this before you start making death threats to people that aren't even alive anymore?" She propped herself up on her elbows and looked at him.

"Sorry, sorry. Yep. Continue." He nodded his head quickly and took a vow of silence until she needed him.

"Okay. So, Dad would knock Mom out and then he'd beat me up if the booze was still in his system. It usually took about an hour for the worst to wear off, but a lot of times it only took ten minutes to knock us both unconscious." She focused her eyes on a stray fibre on the chair across from her, and refused to look away. "Sometimes he'd have friends over," She began, but she couldn't make herself say it. "And while he was beating up Mom…"

Dov's fists curled into balls, his knuckles turning white as he saw tears form in her eyes. "Do you want to take a break?" He caught her gaze. "You don't have to do it all at once."

"That's a good idea." She lay her head back down on his chest. Only a few minutes had passed when she found the courage to speak again. "This one guy raped me." Dov's body instantly tensed against hers.

"He what?" He spoke through clenched teeth.

"His name was Ed. Him and my Dad were really close." She added quietly. Sticking with the lessons his mother had taught him, he wrapped his arms around her and tried to smooth the fraying edges of her sanity.

"Did your Mom ever find out?" He whispered.

"No. I never told anyone." She closed her eyes and tried to let herself melt into his embrace, like she normally would.

"Jesus." He whispered, shaking his head.

"That was when I was eleven. Mom was in the hospital I think, four times that year. It was a bad year." She whispered. "I only had to go once because I fell down the stairs and I broke my leg. It was my fault." She slid her palms up to his chest. "I think Dad raped Mom too. I don't know for sure, but there was something a little more… broken about her some mornings. I felt so bad that I couldn't fix it. And my brother, he just sat there and watched. He was such an asshole."

"Did your Dad hit him too?" Dov asked.

"No, he taught him how to hit us." She held up an open palm. "No bruises." Dov's whole body ached as every word she said revealed more pain in her eyes.

"He wasn't as strong. But it hurt Mom more than Dad did, to see her own flesh and blood kicking the shit out of everyone." She took a deep breath. "But before Dad got arrested, a long time before he got arrested, I can't place it all but I know it was like at least six months, he really came after us. And I hit him with a bat." Her voice rose an octave as she tried to finish her train of thought. "But he grabbed me by my neck and I bit him but he still got me." Dov's toes curled and every muscle in his body tied itself in knots as she spoke. "He locked Mom away and he…"

"Don't say it, please." He shook his head. "I'm a cop. I should be able to deal. But this is terrible."

"You're telling me." She smiled weakly. "We moved in with Chris after that. He tried to come after us a few times, when Chris' Dad was out of town, but" she smiled, "Chris totally kicked his ass. He was like our bodyguard, poor kid." Her smile faded. "We kind of dragged him down with us. I don't think he even remembers it all. I can't count the number of times that he just threw away his week to take care of me."

"Speaking of Chris, where was his mother during all of this?" Dov asked, ready to change the subject.

"I'm not really sure. She just, wasn't there. I asked him once, I think. He didn't really answer me. So I don't know." She shrugged.

"Hm." Dov sighed. "Do you want to stop now?"

"There isn't much else to tell, actually. I can sum it all up in two words. Abusive father. That's all." She whispered. "My chest hurts." She placed her palm on her chest.

"It's anxiety. It'll go away." He whispered. "Do you think you'd be able to sleep right about now?"

"I think so." She yawned at the mention of sleep. Dov got up and took her by the hand, leading her down to the bedroom. He closed all of the blinds, remade the bed and found her some pajamas before climbing into bed with her. He was almost asleep when she started to speak again.

"I'm sorry that I got you into all of this. She whispered. "I really am."

"Why are you sorry?" He looked down at her.

"Come on, Dov. We both know that life would be a lot easier without all of this." She rubbed her eyes.

"I wish you would stop trying to talk me out of this." He sat up and looked at her. "Megan, I'm in this with you. I have been since Christine and Michael's break up, okay? That very first night."

She didn't answer.

"Notice how we only went to two meetings? I didn't need it after we started dating. I didn't even think about drinking." He left out the incident during her disappearance.

"That is true." She giggled as he rolled her on top of him.

"Do you feel better?" He asked, inhaling the scent of her shampoo as he held her.

"I think I do." She replied, snuggling a little closer to him.

"You think you feel better?" He placed her next to him and propped his head up on his elbow and smiled down at her, admiring her perfectly shaped lips and running a finger down her shoulder.

"I mean, I feel like I did the right thing by telling you." She sighed. "But I can't help but feel a little lost." She met his gaze. "Do you know what I mean?" His eyes focused on hers and all became still.

The room melted away around them and he lay down next to her, never dropping her gaze.

"Yeah. I do." He lowered his eyes. "At least we're lost together."

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Hearing someone say it is a lot worse than you can imagine.


End file.
